CNN Story

Just a cute CNN story/video to check out! Esp. since today is of course valentine's day.

Sexting! positive or DANGEROUS?

Hey Blog Readers!
My focus today is on the act of Sexting in any romantic relationship because it is super common with all of the texting we do daily to keep the spark alive with a guy we are hooking up with, a new love, a long-term or long-distance relationship, or older married couples who are spicing up their workday with some virtual lovin'. So the question is: "are we all guilty of sexting?" It is super popular among teens these days because it is more personal and concealed to their private cell phone than out in the open on the internet or phone sex. Sexting is as discrete as a married couple can be and as fun as a long-distance couple can make it because of their separation.  While sexting can get out of control among underage teenagers, it goes beyond flirtatious texting and takes texting to a whole new provocative level that can really keep things romantic while on-the-go.

There are so many repercussions and dangers to sending naked photos I would simply say: delete, delete, delete! This way, you can arouse your partner in the intended way that the message was supposed to convey, but this leaves more romance for later. Not only is it good advice to delete the picture after a glace just for safety, but it also leaves the receiver want more and if you delete it you will have control to wait for the bedroom! I think sexting can be a good way for long term and long distance couples to keep attune to the sexual desires that each other craves. It can be healthy to take things beyond flirtation with your romantic relationship because it leaves the other wanting more and it shows the "danger factor." Living on the edge with the scandalous sexting can leave a guy's mouth watering and it is very dangerous to mix private feelings with technology because mistakes happen. What if the receiver of the naked picture accidentally sends it to his whole contact list including his or her mom! Im sure this has happened before but it is part of the "danger." Just please make sure that you trust that you are sending this to the proper phone before sending and that you TRUST that he or she will not send it to their buddies. There is risk, danger and possible high reward for sexting and the element of technology now makes foreplay even more accessible...its in your pocket in your inbox now! While I am not advocating this, I studied abroad and I think that sexting keeps things as normal as possible long distance. This is a technological advancement that makes romance even more dangerous and accessible. Just beware of the risk involved but use sexting as a responsible sexual means to let your partner know how you feel about them and keep it as an option :)

Here come wedding bells...

Is it just me or is it scary when couples who have been going out for two months start talking about wanting to get married? Is it me or is it scary when couples who are very young actually DO get married? I remember talking about marriage with my  high school boyfriend, being ABSOLUTELY POSITIVE that the first serious boyfriend I ever had would become my husband. Ok, so I was young and naive and it comes with the age and the level of maturity. However, I STILL hear people talking frequently about marriage and it makes me want to hop in their relationship car and slam on their breaks for them (that may have been a stretch of an analogy but just roll with it). My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year and a half and have talked about the potential of marriage in the future and how we would like that to happen. Like every girl, this makes me feel all giddy and warm inside. We don't talk about the fine details of getting married though and the day is most definitely not around the corner. I know some couples who bring up marriage all the time and they have been dating for a year or less. Ok, I get you are in love but let's be honest--you're twenty. I don't believe in bashing on people's hopes and dreams but I do think it is important that people our age should be focused on other things like school, work, social lives, and their romantic (not married) relationships. Personally, I think it is important to be with a person for many year  before deciding to get married, but this may just be me.  I believe a long, successful, happy marriage will be experienced by couples who know each other well and have been through a lot together. Some of my friends who are my age are already getting married in the spring and I want to ask them what is wrong with being a couple for a few more years. Why rush into the responsible life of marriage? Why pretend to be an adult when you are really still a kid? Let's not rush things here people.

Cutesy should be a crime.

We all know the couples that want to make us gag. But theres plenty of reasons that treating your significant other like a perpetual puppy is a bad habit, and not just because your friends will eventually want to shoot you. Beyond annoying the rest of the world's population, being cutesy has no dept to it- lots of people can connect with the image of couples I'm describing because it is nothing new. You know those adorable nicknames and habits you have, like rubbing noses and hugging and cuddling 24/7 that's makes you feel special? Uh, that couple over there is doing the same thing. And another couple over there and there... You can see my point. I'm not saying you shouldn't express emotions in your relationship. Guys, treating your girlfriends like your normal guy friends is a very, very, bad idea. They are not bros: they require some TLC and kisses, not just head nods of acknowledgement. But couples who are "cutesy" have been using too much a good thing. There needs to be a balance between showing affection in public: people should be able to recognize you are in a relationship, but they shouldn't feel as though being around you and your significant other is awkward. But even when you are alone with your significant other, being cutesy all the time can make your relationship repetitive and boring. Nicknames like Baby or Sweetie or Sweetheart, if used interchangeably and constantly, can start to sound tired. Wouldn't you rather have a nickname that you had gotten from some fun experience or laughable moment together? Even if the nickname isn't original in this case, it's way more likely to stick and become something special. And just like everything else, cutesy stuff between the two of you can limit your relationship. Having a serious conversation in a high pitched voice would be a bit of a joke, and there's no reason that the only communication between a couple should be yelling or baby talk.

Sticking With Tradition

I have to make a reference to How I Met Your Mother in this post because Lily and Marshall are probably the best example of a good functioning relationship that I can think of. While they do not do everything by the book, they have some good rules to live by when it comes to making your relationship last a looong time! My example from this show for today is the episode where Marshall and Lily decide to break their tradition of picking each other up from the airport and either "maturing" with their relationship or sticking with their cheesy traditions. What is better? Developing and Maturing into a more "grown-up couple" or keeping the traditions of your early relationship? In my opinion, it is up to your own discretion and see the direction of how your relationship is developing. In the HIMYM episode, Lily and Marshall realize that their ritual of calling each other at lunch time to say "I love you" and picking each other up at the airport is an important part of who they are and their strong relationship. They realized that they could mature in other ways, but keep their traditions going in order to stay a strong couple. I do this in my own life by always calling my boyfriend or vice versa to say goodnight and not be mad at each other before we sleep. It is good to keep TRADITIONS!!! xo

Best friend=boyfriend/girlfriend?

I never can solidify my opinion on how I feel about best friends (those of opposite sex or the same sex if they are gay) becoming romantic partners. One one hand, it seems weird because that person is your best FRIEND, which usually means that they aren't meant to fall under the romantic category. On the other hand, I have also noticed that best friends tend to form extremely strong and successful relationships. In general, there are many different ways the friendship could be affected if romance is brought into the mix. Thinking about how your friendships could be effected if they venture out of that "friend zone" is a very important thing to consider. So, let's go over a few situations that you could find yourself in...

First, sometimes best friends can be solely friends and have no problem with this. For example, opposite gender best friends often talk to each other about their relationship problems and usually jealousy doesn't come into the mix because neither likes one another in "that" way. I have a best guy friend who is more like my brother than anything else and our relationship has never gone past being friends. This is very typical and it is actually very nice to be able to have an opposite sex best friend who you can confide in and not have to worry about deeper feelings getting in the way. My best guy friend has helped me through some of the most difficult times of my life. I cherish our friendship immensely (except I would be fine with out him farting in front of me on a daily basis).

However, sometimes one person ends up falling for their best friend while the other person does not share the same feelings. They may not be attracted to their friend or just have difficult time thinking of them in that light. This could lead to many awkward situations but, if the other person can be honest about their feelings and try not to lead their friend on, there is a likelihood of the friendship going back to normal. Unfortunately, sometimes the friendship is broken because the other person feels crushed. If you have felt this before, don't think it is a unique experience. Being denied can be hard, but sometimes friendships can be so valuable that you can get past this sort of awkward situation. If you are on the other end, try not let your best friend down as kindly as possible and make sure to let them know how important they are to you. It may take a little while for your friend to get over the initial shock of you not sharing their same feelings, but with time they should be able to get over it eventually. This is a difficult situation to be in but it is both common and not impossible to deal with. 

Finally, often times best friends decide to become boyfriend and girlfriend. I have known individuals who were once best friends and now are dating. Their relationships are amazing because they already have such an intense connection and already know a great deal about one another. Relationships on this level can be very special. Other times, best friends who decide to date often experienced failed relationships because they aren't used to having to interact each other in a different way. If this happens to you, hopefully you and your best friend can find a way to smoothly going back to being friends. Keep in mind that the transition may not be exceptionally easy.  

Basically, the success of "best friend turned girlfriend/boyfriend relationships" all depend on the individual people. Sometimes best friends can become wonderful romantic partners who have a lot in common and sometimes taking it a step further can become sufficiently awkward. Make sure you think about the consequences before you decide to try it out with your best friend. On the other hand, don't be afraid to try to take it further because you don't want your friendship to be damaged. You never know what could be there unless you are willing to take a risk. 

Un-Romantic Relationships

As I mentioned before, I think its a bit of chicle to talk about valentines day in a "romantic relationship" blog. The topic seems to obvious (although I love the actually holiday, even if you argue Hallmark invented it). But Valentine's Day doesn't have to be just for your significant other. As I kid my parents would get my sister and I our our boxes of rare chocolates (the good type!) on top of gifts they bought for each other. I don't mean you have to fill out those little cards for every single one of your classmates like you did in first grade. I am encouraging you to break the tradition. As an out of state student, and not having done much of anything for it last year, this year I decided to borrow an idea from over summer and am going to have a bouquet of flowers delivered to my parents, a card to my sister and her boyfriend (who's part of the family), and my best friend from high school. Take that, Hallmark.