Hey there, nice guys.

I know theres a saying about how nice guys finish last. And know theres a stereotype about how pretty girls always choose to date attractive jerks, and "nice guys" always complain about it. Wait a second though. I was on stumble the other day, and found a short note written in favor of nice guys. It reminded me of all the other sorts of complaints I'd ever heard about how girls never pick the nice guy. They all seem.. misplaced. This one went on and on about how he was always treating his friends who were girls like his girlfriends. That's not what he said, but from a girl's perspective, it's what he described, as he held their purses and went shopping with them because they pushed him to. And for reasons like this, this guy choose to wail for 3 more paragraphs about how all girls are like these girls he calls his friends; namely, dumb and unfeeling. What? You're the one who can't apparently pick friends. Hint to guys: no girlfriend or friend should treat you like that ever, please be smart enough to drop them and not make create even more stereotypes. I'm almost wondering if these nice guys who complain about how girls also go for jerks aren't actually up to scratch. Either you hang out with total bitches and associate them as the totality of what the female population has to offer, or you're over estimating yourself. Harsh, but possibly true! Know how on most campuses or high schools theres a few big men on campus? Popular, sometimes athletes, whatever. Notice how they tend to look like normal people, not models? And if you ever meet them, they're really nice? Meet a truly nice guy. Every big guy on campus, by the time they've become a junior or senior, high school or college, have come to establish a reputation... and if they are total jerks, even if they're attractive, people won't think highly of him. The guys who are genuinely nice always actually come out on top. It seems like girls know what going on after all. So all "nice guys" who complain and rip on girls,  if you rip on girls, you might not actually be a nice guy. And esp. with Valentine's Day coming up (I feel obligated to mention it, chicle as it is in a romance blog) now is always a good time to change that :)

You are fine the way you are.

It's common knowledge that most people want to and enjoy being in a relationship. Some people hop from one relationship to another (though the one they hop to is usually a rebound). I understand why people want to be in a relationship because of the love, comfort, and just plain fun that comes with it. Still, I have noticed that some people literally make finding a guy the center of their lives. Why can't people just hang back and relax and not constantly be on the prowl? I may be sounding like a hypocrite because I do have a boyfriend and I enjoy our relationship very much. Nevertheless, I think it is important to take a step back and talk about the ongoing race of finding a guy or a girl. We need to start realizing that each and everyone one of us is a unique, beautiful person who doesn't need someone else to complete us. 

I have often heard people tell me that when you stop looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend and just enjoy the many aspects of your life, eventually someone shows up when you least expect it. I tell this to one of my good friends all the time and she always responds by saying "I know I have stopped but they still haven't shown up." The truth---she hasn't stopped. Every time I'm with her she talks about how much she wants a boyfriend and how she doesn't understand how all of her friends have boyfriends except for her. I wish everyday that she could realize how amazing and gorgeous of a person she really is and how not having a boyfriend doesn't make her any less of a person. Unfortunately, she is very head-strong about the subject. I have started to notice that she spends so much of her time wishing she had a boyfriend that, when she is around guys, she doesn't show her true colors because she is thinking of whether or not the person could be a potential romance. I feel sorry for her because it seems as though she is missing the many wonderful aspects of her life because she is so worried about not having someone. It drives me crazy that there is nothing I can do about the subject except continuing to remind her that she is a great person with so much potential.

When it comes down to it, most people are pretty good on picking up on certain qualities. If you meet a guy or girl and being to text him all the time, try to hang out with them often, and make your friendship more than it is, they will most likely bolt. Being natural and going with the flow (with limits) is a much better way to go. If you end up being in a relationship, it will be because the other person likes who you are, not because they know how long you have been waiting to be in a relationship. People who are in relationships for the sake of being in a relationship realize sooner rather than later that they have made a mistake. So, if you have been obsessing about finding a guy or girl, slow down and take a break. Focus on school, hang out with your friends, pursue a hobby. Just because you aren't going out and searching for someone doesn't mean you will never find them. And I guarantee that if you have your life together and are confident about who you are regardless of being single, you are going to be much more attractive than the other person who is counting down the minutes until they find that special someone.

Where do you fall?

It happens. Friends do not like each others' boyfriends and girlfriends and it leads to many awkward situations and sometimes broken relationships. I know a lot of people who have extremely rude and inconsiderate boyfriends or girlfriends and, when the friends speak out, tension forms. Here is what I think about the matter: if your boyfriend or girlfriend is a nice, caring person and obviously treats you well, then your friends should have no reason to dislike him or her. A lot of times friends can get jealous and will act like there is something wrong with someone's boyfriend or girlfriend when, really, there is something wrong with them. At this point, it is good to talk to your friend about the situation, explain how you disagree with them, and hope that your friend comes to their senses eventually. On the other hand, there are other occasions when friends don't like someone's significant other because they are not nice and do not show signs of being a good, faithful partner. If you are in this situation, this would be a good time to stop and think about their point of view and to maybe revaluate what your friends are saying. You never want to be that person who gets the "I told you so" lecture. Now, if are one of those people who are so wrapped up in their relationship that they can not tell if their friends are being over-dramatic or if their girlfriend or boyfriend is really a loser, I do not know what to tell you. Hopefully, you never find yourself in a situation like this.

Quick tip of the week!!

This week I thought more about long term relationships and how to make it last! Try and attempt not to talk about weight around your significant other or on a date and think more about each others personality instead of focusing on attraction and appearance. This makes a deeper connection and long lasting love!! Xo

Freaking Facebook

Have you ever had the conversation about whether someone's relationship status is Facebook official? Does this annoy you as much as it annoys me? I mean, I have no problem with people putting up their current relationship status, single, in a relationship with someone. That's fine. It's informative. As far as statuses like "Complicated," well, then, you are no help to anyone whatsoever, least of all the person to whom the profile belongs. But the real issue is the notion of "Facebook Official" as a title in our society. Couples get in arguments because they aren't Facebook Official yet. True, maybe it's odd if your profile says your single and your not, but I'm talking about people who don't have Facebooks or don't list their relationship status still using the social networking site as a standard. If you can say to me, oh, we're serious, but we're not Facebook Official, and I can completely understand what your talking about, then something is wrong with the world.

Communication is Key!

Do you and your partner argue a lot?? Well let me tell you, the key to every relationship is communication. If you guys do not know how to communicate then you wont be able to grow as a couple. If you and your partner have a difficult time talking to each other and coming to a compromising solution, take these steps into consideration and see if they work for you.

1. Write a letter. Most people are able to communicate more clearly through word. If you feel as if your words go in one ear and out the other when it comes to communicating with your partner, then this is the right step for you. Written words are some times better to focus on, as opposed to a nagging voice. This will also help ease the tension, especially if you are one to complain a lot. People don’t like to get in trouble so when those dreadful words “we need to talk” comes up, we instantly move into defense mode “I didn’t do it!” So write a letter and either have them write a letter back or have a sit down with each other. As long as you both get to express yourselves respectfully.

2. Stop Nagging. Nagging isn’t just about complaining, it’s about how you say it. If your constantly wining about what’s not being done or what you don’t like, no one is going to want to listen. Take a breather, cool down, think about what you need and want to say before you say it. And if you are a spiritual person, pray before you begin to speak. All this will help you to remain calm and focused. Engage your partner into the conversation by ask them what can you better or different in the relationship and see If you guys cant come up with a middle ground.

3. Don’t yell. Screaming and yell instantly turns people off. You ever heard of that saying, ”I can’t hear you when you’re yelling at me?” well, its true. Who wants to listen to a yelling crazy person? All it makes you want to do is yell back! That is not the solution. You also want to take some tips from step two; Take a breather, cool down, think about what you need and want to say before you say it. And if you are a spiritual person, pray before you begin to speak. And if you are quick to anger then I suggest you take a walk out side and talk to yourself, as if the person is right in front of you. I know, sounds crazy right? But it works. One thing that always helps me is writing a really mean text or letter expressing how I feel at that time. BUT DO NOT SEND IT!!! The point of writing is just to get it out of your system. After you write it read it over. You will quickly realize that you would never want your partner to read it because its mean and hurtful and you would never want to make them feel that way.

4. Identify the problem. You and your partner need to come to the consensus that there is a problem and you both would like to fix it. Once you guys do that then you can come up with steps to solve the problem as a couple and on an individual level. Or it might just turn out that you guys realize that the problem can’t be fixed and you don’t need to remain together.

5. Talk! After it is all said and done, communication is key. If you guys can’t talk to each other, then the relationship won’t be as enjoyable. You both need to make efforts to spark up little conversations, ask them their input on a certain topics. And once you know how to communicate on a friend-to-friend level, then talking about the relationship and its weaknesses/strengths, you will be able to find a common ground on what you both are looking to get out of this relationship.

Good Luck!!

and if you need any further advice take a look at this link!

Its February! Valentines Day?

So, you have a romance in your life and you realize that Valentines Day is coming up! What is there to do to be appropriate and spontaneous at the same time? A romantic dinner is a must and I have been thinking about planning what I will make for my boyfriend so that it shows that I was inspired by the love we have on Valentines Day! First, I think about what we both enjoy when we go out to eat before I can plan what I am making. This means that I can re-interpret our favorite cuisine in case I want to save money on the pre-fixed menus that restaurants impose on people for this occasion. Charging me $75 for 3 courses will not cut it when I can pay less a la carte on any other day. Seriously! Restaurants think they can do this because everyone wants to go pay for dinner on a romantic holiday but I say, if it will not cause you stress and you plan out a nice romantic dinner at home, it can be even better without the service charge! Plus, you can make a lot of memories in the kitchen if you clean up together and make dessert together.

OK, so here's my plan for the big meal... steak pan seared on the stovetop then finished in the over medium rare so it is served restaurant-quality. Make your own parsley butter and in the last 5 minutes add it to the top of the steak in the oven to make it juicy and extra-fancy! On the stovetop it should cook 5 minutes on each side then placed in the oven at 400 degrees for 15-20 minutes until serving. For the side, mix it up! Make 3-4 sides and have options and leftovers! I plan on making rosemary garlic mashed potatoes with buttermilk that I make on the stovetop first by boiling the potatoes, mashing them after draining until smooth with butter and milk and a tablespoon of sour cream. Then, add a Tablespoon of dried rosemary and freshly chopped garlic with salt and pepper to taste. From my experience, guys like it simple and tasty with strong flavors like rosemary and pepper. Also on the side, saute mushrooms and onions and peppers in butter and olive oil with salt and pepper until caramelized for a nice side to compliment the steak.  Then, make two vegetable side dishes to complete the main course. Blanch spinach until wilted (this can be done after the steak, potatoes and other sides are complete) then add lemon and white pepper and butter for a side with some citrus to balance the whole meal. In addition, grill some asparagus with olive oil and salt and pepper to go with the meaty steak.

The thing about cooking for Valentines day instead of eating out is that it adds a element of love when you put the time and effort into the act of cooking and creativity. It is found to be sexy, intimate and it can reveal more about a person in a short amount of time than going out to eat. Light some candles for dinner and open a bottle of wine for alot less than it costs to eat out with a bottle of wine at dinner because you get to control the food and wine costs.

One of the things that I struggle with the most on Valentines Day is the need for presents. On my first Valentines Day with my boyfriend, he surprised me with a necklace from Tiffany's and I loved it! But when it comes to guys, what can I get him? I see what I can get for his birthday and Christmas, but Valentines Day? I know most women would say surprise him with something in the bedroom or from Victoria's Secret, but I like to have something sentimental like the necklace to remember the special day. Of course, I always buy a card for Valentines Day and so should your man, but it is always puzzling what to give in exchange for jewelry and chocolate...what do guys want? Valentines Day is about LOVE so I tried to tell him no gifts and I know that he is too stubborn for that to work! My plan of action is to get some romantic movies online because one thing we love is watching movies together...that might be the plan!


OK, I think Valentines Day is a great reminder of Love and there is soo much that you can do to make this holiday special! Spend the whole Day together and go for a hike or get some outdoors time then stay in for the night and cuddle up with a homemade meal and some gifts from the heart that say "I Love You" It seems simple, but make sure to leave time to make the meal and buy groceries so that you are not stressed on the big day. To me, it is a day to relax and remember the passion when it is just you and the one that you love...have fun!!!

Valentines Day Restaurant Guide for those who do not want to cook at home...make those reservations now!!! xoxo