Do you and your partner argue a lot?? Well let me tell you, the key to every relationship is communication. If you guys do not know how to communicate then you wont be able to grow as a couple. If you and your partner have a difficult time talking to each other and coming to a compromising solution, take these steps into consideration and see if they work for you.
1. Write a letter. Most people are able to communicate more clearly through word. If you feel as if your words go in one ear and out the other when it comes to communicating with your partner, then this is the right step for you. Written words are some times better to focus on, as opposed to a nagging voice. This will also help ease the tension, especially if you are one to complain a lot. People don’t like to get in trouble so when those dreadful words “we need to talk” comes up, we instantly move into defense mode “I didn’t do it!” So write a letter and either have them write a letter back or have a sit down with each other. As long as you both get to express yourselves respectfully.
2. Stop Nagging. Nagging isn’t just about complaining, it’s about how you say it. If your constantly wining about what’s not being done or what you don’t like, no one is going to want to listen. Take a breather, cool down, think about what you need and want to say before you say it. And if you are a spiritual person, pray before you begin to speak. All this will help you to remain calm and focused. Engage your partner into the conversation by ask them what can you better or different in the relationship and see If you guys cant come up with a middle ground.
3. Don’t yell. Screaming and yell instantly turns people off. You ever heard of that saying, ”I can’t hear you when you’re yelling at me?” well, its true. Who wants to listen to a yelling crazy person? All it makes you want to do is yell back! That is not the solution. You also want to take some tips from step two; Take a breather, cool down, think about what you need and want to say before you say it. And if you are a spiritual person, pray before you begin to speak. And if you are quick to anger then I suggest you take a walk out side and talk to yourself, as if the person is right in front of you. I know, sounds crazy right? But it works. One thing that always helps me is writing a really mean text or letter expressing how I feel at that time. BUT DO NOT SEND IT!!! The point of writing is just to get it out of your system. After you write it read it over. You will quickly realize that you would never want your partner to read it because its mean and hurtful and you would never want to make them feel that way.
4. Identify the problem. You and your partner need to come to the consensus that there is a problem and you both would like to fix it. Once you guys do that then you can come up with steps to solve the problem as a couple and on an individual level. Or it might just turn out that you guys realize that the problem can’t be fixed and you don’t need to remain together.
5. Talk! After it is all said and done, communication is key. If you guys can’t talk to each other, then the relationship won’t be as enjoyable. You both need to make efforts to spark up little conversations, ask them their input on a certain topics. And once you know how to communicate on a friend-to-friend level, then talking about the relationship and its weaknesses/strengths, you will be able to find a common ground on what you both are looking to get out of this relationship.
Good Luck!!
and if you need any further advice take a look at this link!
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