"Think before you speak"...easier said than done.

I've been told many times in my life that I need to work on thinking before I speak. It kills me to admit that it is still something that is a very large issue in my life. It is always important to think before you speak no matter who you are taking to...your mom, your brother, your boss, your professor, your friend and of course your significant other. I have found that there have been many instances in my relationship with my boyfriend that I have not been able to bite my tongue before any damage was doene. I say something and, like always, there is NEVER any way to take it back. I believe that this is a bad quality in myself and to anyone else who possesses it. To be in a mature relationship ,(or really to be mature in general), you need to be able to have a filter and know if something is okay to say BEFORE it slips out of your mouth. You can try as hard as you can to take what you said and make it into something else, (the whole "that's not what I meant" trick), but, let's be honest, no one is ever really successful at doing that. Words can be harsh, especially if the person speaking isn't taking the person on the receiving end into consideration. 

Now, I don't want to come across as if I am preaching because it is obviously something I need to seriously and continuously work on. All I'm saying is that I have done it enough times to know that speaking your mind doesn't mean saying everything that you think. There are many words that I wish I could take back but I'll never be able to and this is sad for both me and my boyfriend. Something said by Veera Mahajan  reminded of how it important it is to think before anything  comes out of my mouth. She says "since you care for your loved ones, you correct them, but very often your criticism is passed very bluntly, without reflecting the negative effect it could have." In other words, just because you become frustrated with your boyfriend or girlfriend doesn't mean you have to be mean and spit words full of venom. Criticizing or expressing anger can be done with out hurting the other person so much that it is really beyond repair. 

Believe me, I know this is all easier said than done but it is important to think about frequently if you don't want to risk hurting your loved one during troubling times. One of the hardest things to see is the person you love the most be hurt by something you have said--there is no way of helping them except apologizing profusely. To avoid situations like these, I would suggest trying to remain calm and take a few breaths before speaking to be an important personal commitment. That way, not only are you more in control of yourself but the consequences will be much less painful to both your partner and yourself. As humans, we have strong emotions and sometimes they can be extremely difficult to control. Still, by saying something mean before thinking it through will likely result in even more hurt and pain. Personally, these are things that I don't want to be a part of my relationship. I would assume that most people feel the same way. So, think before you speak especially if you are angry. Having to live with the hurt you have caused because of the stupid words you have said out of anger and spite is never enjoyable, but is luckily something that can be improved with practice and dedication.