(After) He Cheats

Cheating sucks. I know anyone who reads that and has been cheated on will think, hmmm, understatement of the year. Cheating creates one of those situations in which even two rational people, who would normally break up and be cordial after, would forever hate each other's guts instead. I'm not saying that's what always happens, that is one potential issue. The thing about cheating- actually, it's more like things about cheating- is that it creates a very different environment from another, normal, fight or breakup scene.

The people who stay together truly impress me. Those couples that don't break up. I'm not the type of person to classify people into two groups, but (ha) there are two sorts of groups here. Generally. OK, more like three now that I think about it. There are the couples that one cheats, and they come to reach a deep level of understanding and they move on with a deep and real relationship. I don't know where these couples exist, I'm just sure that they do. Then you have the couples where one person is naive and obvious to that the fact that their partner is constantly cheating on them, but the other person more or less knows it in real life. They choose, for multiple reasons, not to leave them. One day they will get a slap in the face that they deserve better (haven't you ever wanted to be that person??) and leave the cheating jerk, but not yet. And then there are the couples that seem to fight, a lot, cheat on each other, a lot, and still stay together and eventually get married because, let's face it, they are made for each other. I feel like these are actually three very specific examples, and by no means do couples who stay together fit one of the three, but work with me here.

Then there are the majority, me 'n my scientific survey says so, of people who break up after cheating. Naturally. Nothing says I don't want to be in a relationship anymore like cheating does. Cheating breaks all the trust in a relationship- not just about other people and what goes on when you aren't around, but anything else that was every promised to you. Gone. You can't trust their judgement anymore, or believe they will make mature decisions, so all other trust in the other person in general kinda goes right out the window. The important thing is not to assign this lack of trust to everybody else. Even if it happens more than once. There are decent people out there, and there are lots of people who will get into a relationship and won't cheat. And people don't always make the same mistakes twice. Really. I'm shocked I typed it but it's true.