So You Have Kids...

Striving to keep your relationship spicy and booming with a kid in the picture? First off, let me state for the record that although possible, it will get harder as the child gets older. But to keep your relationship spicy with a kid or more, you will need the assistance of ones who can babysit. Once you find that then you both just need to set aside a day where it is just dedicated to the two of you. Try not to call in and see how things are going with the child if you know you have left them with a trusted, responsible adult. Not checking up on your child may sound irresponsible but its not and it just ruins the moment with you and your partner. When you set aside at least once every two weeks to couple time then it will defiantly help. Ladies, give your man some attention. Just because you have a child doesn’t mean you don’t have a man. Men need love too. And parents, stop letting your kid sleep with you. The bed is sacred territory for you and your partner. More advice to come on this topic so stay tuned.

When You Are Stuck In A Rut...

First of all, when I am stuck in a rut in a romantic relationship...I feel it! I am not myself and I feel like the smallest things are mundane and lackluster and I know most people have this feeling when they are in a long-term relationship. Long-term relationships are hard because dates may not be as exciting as what you see on the Bachelor when he takes her to a Carnival shut-down for just two people to have a romantic date or when Seal comes out of nowhere to sing a love ballad to you on your date!! Still, ruts are hard because fast-food dates become routine and nights-in on the couch seems too familiar!

Although I am not an expert, I am a realist. I know that romance is how exciting you and your significant other make it. For me, I want romance in small doses to savor. I used to want the big show and dance with fancy dates and surprises I mean who doesnt? But alas! My relationship got to be 2 years old this year and Im faced with some bumps in the road with how to turn small ruts that Im stuck in around! Ill let you know that some of my friends, faced with these "ruts" would run for the hills because the romance is not exciting enough. However, my advice would be to take control and add some romance into small things. I like healthy competition and flirting in my relationships when I play scrabble with my boyfriend, we make bets with each other not for money or dinner but for fun! When it comes to being in college, I barely have extra spending money for a mani pedi let alone a fancy date...so I cook-in with my boyfriend and make us sit at the table with no tv or phones for the sake of flirting ( I love flirting, who says you have to stop once you enter a relationship?) and keeping lively conversation. One last advice for getting out of a rut is to do more things together but spend a good amount of time apart. An example of this for me this week was going to the gym with my boyfriend and working out together was fun and healthy relationship activity. Then, after a date and movie I like to spend a few days doing what I need to do in my life before I go back to my romantic life...this way I bring my own experiences to my relationship and I have more to share and have interesting in my life where I dont feel like my only excitement is date-night but rather my own independence is lively too. When you are in a rut, find a balance that changes things up and try what I have tried: flirt, find romance in small things, and spend healthy time apart! Next time: spicing up that long-term relationship! Stay Tuned!

Is This Love?

So I’m sure this is a question we have all asked ourselves at some period of time in our life; is this love? So how do you know? Well taking my prior knowledge from past relationships and the wise wisdom of the women that came before me, I think I have an idea. When someone loves, they themselves no longer become the priority and main focus in their own life. They are no longer selfish. When you go out to eat you call that person to see if they would like some thing also. When you and your mate are having a movie night and there is one piece of buffalo wing on the plate and they let you have it. When they open the door for you (men) and then you (women) proceed to unlock the door for them before they get to the door. I know you’re laughing, simple stuff right? Well that’s not all. My granny told me that if a man doesn’t make you cry but is worth crying over then its love. My mama told me that love is when you can’t picture waking up to anybody else in the morning for the rest of your life but them. Love is all those things. But love to me is when you dream you see them. Love is when you are mad at them nothing could get you mad enough to want to live without them. Love is not being able to describe in words how much you care for them because mere words cannot begin to grasp the concept of the kind of love you have for them. Love requires no thinking, love come from the heart. And if your heart flutters each and every time you see their face or hear their voice then its love, no doubts, no questions.

Why is He Acting Funny?

Ladies, have u ever been dating a guy and things are going well but all of a sudden he starts acting funny? Less attentive Awkward silence over the phone? Just not the same guy you started to like in the first place? So what’s wrong? He just not that into you sweetie! We’ve all heard that line before, but sadly its true. Boys mature into men at a slower pace then girls mature into women do. So if he seems bored with you then he probable isn’t ready for a long term relationship or an exclusive relationship. What’s the solution for you? Well this might be hard for those of you who attach easily with your partners but you have to beat these men at their own game. Men go crazy when they realize they are no longer a priority in a woman’s life. Treat him like he treats you. If he acts as if he doest want you, then you don’t want him. Ladies, if a man doesn’t make you feel special every time you hear his voice, if he loses interest in you for no apparent reason then he doesn’t deserve you or your time. Life is too short to waste your time with no good men.

Celebrity Couples

really don't help the image of overall dating today. Not that it is their fault. Tons of magazines carry all sorts of information about celebrity couples. But reports of how celebrity couples are "doing" is based on anonymous reports or, one of my favorites, the analysis of pictures of the couples. OMG, theres more than 6 inches between their bodies, clearly the relationship is falling apart and/or the marriage is doomed. Thank goodness the magazines figured out they're doomed, in case they didn't know. But even the readers seem to like perpetuating the issue: Cosmopolitan magazine has polled readers asking who they think will break up in the coming future. As if any reader could guess better than the editors. So, going back to maybe why dating isn't taken seriously on college campuses...

And the Countdown Begins...Long Distance Relationships

What do you do when the one you love is thousands of miles away? Many people today are in long-distance relationships and know about the heart ache that comes with being separated from their boyfriend or girlfriend. The truth is long-distance relationships are tough and that's really all there is to it. There is no magic trick to make them work out and no way to make those "I miss him/her so damn much I could die" feelings subside. Also, unless you plan on teleporting, your phone and computer are likely your most treasured items because they are what keep you connected with your loved one. However, talking on the phone or video chatting can only give so much. Nothing can compare to being right next to your boyfriend or girlfriend and being able to touch them and talk face-to-face. But, if you are currently in a long-distance relationship I'm assuming you have already figured this out. 

So, what do you do? How do you maintain a healthy relationship with someone who isn't in the same city, state, country, or even continent? I have been in a long-distance relationship (about 1000 miles) in the past and, like most, it failed after four months. Today, I'm incredibly glad that it did since I love my current boyfriend to death. Still, I only see him every weekend and I have become very used to the "long-distance feel." The first tip I would suggest to anyone is to ACCEPT IT.. Unless your boyfriend/girlfriend suddenly drops out of college or leaves his/her job and shows up at your doorstep in the middle of the night, you can't change the fact that the two of you are apart and likely will be for a while. In other words, it is how it is and this should be your mindset from the beginning. Secondly, you must realize that, like every relationship, there is a likelihood of it not working out. Everyone always wants to think that their relationship is strong enough to survive the challenges of distance, but there is always a potential for a break up. 

Thirdly, you need to be prepared to handle some situations on your own. Depending on your individual lives, both of you are not always going to be able to answer every text or phone call. It is important to have stable friends outside of your relationship to fall back on when your boyfriend or girlfriend is out of touch. When you do talk, remember that texts and phone calls aren't the same as face-to-face contact and misunderstandings can escalate quickly. Remember to keep your cool because being hung up on is never a good feeling. Finally, if the time comes when you are sure that the relationship isn't going to work out, try breaking up face-to-face. If this isn't possible for a long time, don't drag it out but be sensitive. Just because he or she isn't there, doesn't give you the right to end something that was once very special with a five minute phone call. Hopefully, this time WON'T ever come and you will be able to keep your relationship strong. To those out there who have tried or are still successfully managing to have a healthy long-distance relationship, I offer you much respect. You should be proud of yourselves for trying something that many have labeled impossible.

-->Here are some more tips about long distance relationships. Hope they help. 

College Students Need to Get Their S. Together

I had an interesting experience at an on-campus lecture the other day. Some of my friends were required to attend the session, which was outside of class, but several of us tagged along as the lecture content was supposed to be rather different and out there. It was given by the author of Sex and the Soul, Donna Freitas, on the content of her research into college hookup culture. One of the things that she mentioned what that the way that students felt about hookup culture and how they perceived their peers to feel about hookup culture were always different. For example, several students noted the lack of classic dating in the college scene, and missed it, but felt that their peers did not. I found this point to be fascinating as I had come to a similar conclusion about dating at colleges. It seemed to me that students either hooked up with someone once or twice, were hooking up with someone repeatedly, or had reached the status as boyfriend/girlfriend, who knows how. I also decided that I wanted to go on a date, dammit, and promptly informed the guy I was involved with that he needed to ask me on a date, specifically to Pinkberry (God's gift to earth, first to California). And it was amazing. Seriously, why did we ever get rid of dating? Even if a couple goes dutch (splitting the meal), at some point, you will probably get free food. Just something to consider.