First of all, when I am stuck in a rut in a romantic relationship...I feel it! I am not myself and I feel like the smallest things are mundane and lackluster and I know most people have this feeling when they are in a long-term relationship. Long-term relationships are hard because dates may not be as exciting as what you see on the Bachelor when he takes her to a Carnival shut-down for just two people to have a romantic date or when Seal comes out of nowhere to sing a love ballad to you on your date!! Still, ruts are hard because fast-food dates become routine and nights-in on the couch seems too familiar!
Although I am not an expert, I am a realist. I know that romance is how exciting you and your significant other make it. For me, I want romance in small doses to savor. I used to want the big show and dance with fancy dates and surprises I mean who doesnt? But alas! My relationship got to be 2 years old this year and Im faced with some bumps in the road with how to turn small ruts that Im stuck in around! Ill let you know that some of my friends, faced with these "ruts" would run for the hills because the romance is not exciting enough. However, my advice would be to take control and add some romance into small things. I like healthy competition and flirting in my relationships when I play scrabble with my boyfriend, we make bets with each other not for money or dinner but for fun! When it comes to being in college, I barely have extra spending money for a mani pedi let alone a fancy date...so I cook-in with my boyfriend and make us sit at the table with no tv or phones for the sake of flirting ( I love flirting, who says you have to stop once you enter a relationship?) and keeping lively conversation. One last advice for getting out of a rut is to do more things together but spend a good amount of time apart. An example of this for me this week was going to the gym with my boyfriend and working out together was fun and healthy relationship activity. Then, after a date and movie I like to spend a few days doing what I need to do in my life before I go back to my romantic life...this way I bring my own experiences to my relationship and I have more to share and have interesting in my life where I dont feel like my only excitement is date-night but rather my own independence is lively too. When you are in a rut, find a balance that changes things up and try what I have tried: flirt, find romance in small things, and spend healthy time apart! Next time: spicing up that long-term relationship! Stay Tuned!
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