If it does end...

Breaking up. The word just makes me cringe. Most people, at some point in their lives, go through a break up. Whether you are the recipient or cause of a break up, it is never easy. In fact, sometimes it can be downright horrible. I know the feeling and, honestly, no one can understand unless they have been through it. I remember the first time I got dumped I literally felt like I would never feel happy again. I was also convinced that I would NEVER find love again--I want to go back and slap myself--and would be single and lonely forever. Obviously, both of these things were untrue and I found both happiness and love. But at the time, I felt helpless and I have had to help many of my friends go through the same experience. There is no easy way to go through a break up and, unless you have a heart of steel, it is likely going to take at least some time to get over it. That old, frustrating quote "time heals everything" really does apply here. I know know you don't want to hear it but it's true. The pain may seem so unbearable now but there WILL be a day when it was once all a part of the past.

There are a few useful suggestions I would like to make for dealing with a break up. If you are the recipient of the break up, I would suggest trying to get out and do as many different activities as possible. Keeping yourself occupied and hanging out with friends will help take your mind off the break up and your recent ex. Also, as tempting as it is to text him or her, don't. Unless it is a rare case, your ex has already made up his or her mind and it isn't going to change. Texting or calling him or her will only cause more pain because talking to them will make all of those feelings rush to the surface again. It may seem like hearing from him or her will make you feel better but once you realize it is still the same, it will leave you feeling very low. Save yourself from feeling this way . Cry, shout, punch your pillow, go on a run, write a mean letter and then tear it up or do anything else to get your emotions out but don't rely on the one who caused the pain to fix it. It's hard to no longer be able to depend on someone who used to be close with, but, I'm sorry to say it, your ex doesn't want to be that person for you anymore. Don't forget that there are thousands of people who have been through a break up so you are never alone. Actually, there are many self-help books you can read to make the process a little easier. 

Now, if you are the cause, or the breakupee, (a weird term I just created), stop contacting your ex. Texting or calling your ex will only give your him or her hopes of you wanting to get back together. However, if they are to contact you don't ignore them because they are already suffering enough. Obviously this only applies if your ex didn't do anything drastic, like cheat, to cause the break up. The worst thing you could possibly ever do is to continue to flirt or hook up with your ex. This is really just like teasing and is very selfish. You can't have your cake and it and too and if you no longer want a emotional connection with that person your must realize that you are aren't  guaranteed that physical connection either. Sure, it's easy for any two people to hook up and your ex may be up for it. After it's over you may be feeling fine, but they will probably be wishing it wasn't temporary. It is important to have respect for the person you just broke up with and realize that they may be having a difficult time letting you go. Don't make it any harder by dangling yourself in front of their faces and then running away when you sense them becoming attached again.

Let's face it--breakups suck. However, "when one door closes another one opens." You aren't the first or last person who will go through a break up and one day you will look back and realize that maybe it was for the best. Also, if you never want to risk having your heart broken, you might as well rule out love all together. Who wants to do that? Stay strong and remember that love has no age limit. It is very likely that you will find somebody (or maybe more than one person) again and that the relationship will be more fulfilling and special than your last.